QUESTIONS: Really bad jokes

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Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
оқуды бастаңыз
Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
оқуды бастаңыз
A stick.
What is the best definition of a mixed emotion?
оқуды бастаңыз
Watching the mother-in-law reverse off a cliff driving your brand new car.
Why is divorce so expensive?
оқуды бастаңыз
Because it's worth it.
How many selfish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
оқуды бастаңыз
Only one, the world revolves around them.
What is another name for female Viagra?
оқуды бастаңыз
A Diamond.
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
оқуды бастаңыз
Easily, concrete floors are very hard to crack!
If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 pears and 3 pineapples in the other hand, what would you have?
оқуды бастаңыз
Very large hands.
How can a man go eight days without sleep?
оқуды бастаңыз
He sleeps at night.
Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today?
оқуды бастаңыз
Because he’s dead.
Why did a confused woman stare at a carton of apple juice for 20 minutes?
оқуды бастаңыз
Because it said “Concentrate” on the side of the carton.
Why does nobody eat clowns?
оқуды бастаңыз
Because they taste funny.
Why did the room packed with married people seem empty?
оқуды бастаңыз
Because there wasn't a single person there.
What do people in prison use to communicate with each other?
оқуды бастаңыз
Cell phones
What is the longest sentence that a man knows?
оқуды бастаңыз
I do.
What would you have if you crossed a panther with a burger?
оқуды бастаңыз
Really fast food.
Why do traffic lights rarely go swimming?
оқуды бастаңыз
Because they take much too long to change.
Why is it that birds fly southwards for the winter?
оқуды бастаңыз
Because it’s much too far to walk.
What falls regularly though never gets hurt?
оқуды бастаңыз
Rain.
Why is it that people always walk whenever they play the bagpipes?
оқуды бастаңыз
Even they are attempting to get away from that awful noise.
Why do you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
оқуды бастаңыз
Because they’re really good at it.
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
оқуды бастаңыз
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
What do a green apple and a red apple have in common?
оқуды бастаңыз
They’re both red except for the green one.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
оқуды бастаңыз
Between you and me, something smells.
Which is the most curious letter?
оқуды бастаңыз
Y.

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